The good stuff

A sailor and a pirate walk into a bar...


Everyone needs a good story for coffee meetings with friends. Here are a couple of my favorites. Have a good time telling them!

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea.

The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook and an eye patch.

The seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”

The pirate replies, “We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.”

“Wow!” said the seaman. “What about your hook?”

“Well,” replied the pirate, “We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off.”

“Incredible!” remarked the seaman. “How did you get the eye patch?”

“A seagull dropping fell into my eye,” replied the pirate.

“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asked incredulously.

“Well,” said the pirate, “it was my first day with my hook”

Here's another one

One day, on 9/9/99, a man woke up at 9:09 a.m. in the morning, jumped on Bus #99 and went to his favorite restaurant on 9th Street. When the cashier rang up his order, it totaled $9.99.

“Oh, wow, this is an omen!” the man said, so he bought a pair of cheap binoculars at the 99¢ store, pulled out 99 cents in fares and took Bus #99 to the race track. As he approached Gate No. 9, he said to the ticket agent, “I would like to bet $999.99 on horse No. 9 in the ninth race.”

“Why those particular numbers?” the ticket agent asked.

“Nine seems to be my lucky number today," the man said excitedly. "I'm really on a roll!”

Feeling confident, he sat through the first eight races until race No. 9 came up. Sure enough, he was on a roll.

The horse came in ninth.

Go tell ’em!


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